How An Adoption Match Gets Made

How an adoption match is made

Have you ever wondered how an adoption match gets made? In this illuminating conversation with Steffany Aye, Founder & Executive Director of Adoption & Beyond, one of the most mysterious aspects of the adopting process - the adoption match - is explained.

What is an adoption match?

An adoption match is a process by which an expecting mom who is considering adoption comes to an adoption professional in order to learn more about adoption and choose adoptive parents for her baby.

Before anything else, an adoption agency needs to ensure that adoption is the right choice for the expectant mother. The agency will make sure that she understands what adoption is - and what it isn't. Adoption is a relinquishment of parenthood, but it's also a continuation of the relationship with the family who will be parenting her child. Once the expectant mother has a clear understanding of what adoption is, the agency can help her match with a family.

Two ways to create an adoption match

When an agency determines there is common ground in a family's criteria and an expecting mother's criteria, the matching process begins. There are generally two different ways that agencies approach the matching process. The first involves contacting the adoptive parents with the expectant mother's information and asking them if they want their profile presented to her. The second approach involves presenting the adoptive parents' profile to the expectant mom to see if she is interested in talking to them. Both approaches have their pros and cons, and it is up to each agency to decide which approach is best.

Adoption match tips for adoptive families

When adoptive parents receive an opportunity from an agency, they should consider focusing on the questions that are "make-or-break" - essential questions and answers that will help adoptive parents decide if this is a good situation for them. Adoptive parents should be very honest with themselves in order to avoid a potentially devastating rejection of the expectant mother down the line.

While it's rare, in theory, adoptive parents may have more than one opportunity to consider at a time. When this occurs, it's important for the adoptive parents to communicate with the agency and be transparent about the situation. The agency may allow them to pursue both opportunities, as long as everyone knows what is happening.

Communication is key in a match

Communication is key throughout the matching process. The agency needs to be in constant communication with the expectant mother to ensure that she's comfortable with the process and that she's finding the right family for her child. At the same time, the agency needs to be in constant communication with the adoptive parents, updating them on the situation and answering any questions they may have.

The match meeting

Once the expectant mother has chosen a family, a match meeting occurs. During this meeting, the expectant mom and the adoptive parents get to know each other and discuss the details of the adoption plan. This is an opportunity for everyone to ask questions and ensure that they are all on the same page.

The matching process can be a long and emotional journey, but with the right support and communication, it can be a positive and fulfilling experience for everyone involved.


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About this Podcast

Join adoption consultant and host Nicole Witt in this illuminating podcast for people who are considering adoption. Get invaluable suggestions and information from respected adoption professionals and guests. If you are getting serious about adopting, you won’t want to miss a single episode of Adopting! The Podcast.

Nicole Witt